I was casually browsing through some blogs when I stumbled upon a new article titled “25 Ways To Help A Fellow Human Being Today” at Zen Habits. And then a couple of hours later at a coaching program, “compassion” became the word of the day. I took that as a hint to write an article revolving around compassion. And riding on the theme of this blog, I am going to share with you my list of 13 ways you can help a fellow speaker today. (Please add on to my list so we can hit 25!)

If you are the audience…

1. Be generous with your smiles! The shortest distance between the speaker and the audience is A SMILE. So be generous with your smiles. It really means a lot to the speaker when you show him and her such appreciation. A smile usually begets a smile, so you end up becoming happier as well.

2. Compliment the speaker. If you have benefited from the speech, don’t be afraid to let the speaker know. Tell him what you like about his speech, what you have learnt and how you will apply his message/tips into your life. To a speaker, this is very, very flattering.

3. Lend your ears to the speaker. When the speaker talks, pay full attention to him. Don’t get distracted by the people around you. Don’t get distracted with the internal conversations running in your head. When you are in the audience, sit up, inch forward and really listen to the speaker. Make him feel like he is the only person that matters to you at that moment. I gurantee you that the quality of the speech will also increase because the speaker gets that you care!

4. Clap like you really mean it. Very often, the audience clap on cue (before the speaker come on stage and after the speaker leaves the stage) And trust me, we can feel the insincerity. And it hurts big time especially if we have put in a lot of effort in the presentation. So the next time you clap for the speaker, clap like you mean it. Clap as a way of giving thanks. Clap as a way of showing the speaker that you appreciate his time. Clap as a way of supporting a fellow human being. It takes courage to be on stage!

5. Drop the speaker a nice email. Ask him a question. Clarify a point that he made during his presentation. Share with him what you have learnt out of listening to him. These are all acts of love to the speaker because you are telling him that it has been worth his time delivering the presentation. And guess what, 9 out of 10 people don’t do that… so when you do it, it is going to make you stand out! And don’t be surprised if the speaker gives you EXTRA tips or tactics. One time, I did this and the speaker was so touched that he brought me out for lunch and gave me one hour to ask him anything I want about the topic!

6. Be patient. There are times when the speaker is not at his best. Instead of ignoring him or putting him down, be patient. Put yourself in his shoe. It’s not easy to be speaking in front of so many people. So give him a second chance. Encourage him by nodding, smiling or even participanting in this speech.

7. Wish the speaker good luck. If you are reading this, I am sure you know how nerve wrecking it is to wait for your turn to speak. And sometimes just giving the speaker a hug, a handshake or a hello will make a huge difference. If you have not tried that before, go on and do that. You will make his day!

If you are the speaker…

8. Offer to listen to their presentation beforehand. Rehearsals are important and it helps when a speaker has a group of real audience to test his speech on. And as you are listening to his presentation, be sure to do #9 as well.

9. Give constructive feedback. I notice that sometimes people are too nice for their own good. When I ask them how I did, they will usually give me very surface-level advice like “I think you did a good job.” or “That was a very interesting speech - well done Eric!”. It’s true that people seek validation more than education but if you really want to help the speaker grow, I suggest you be open with your feedback. Share with the speaker what work and what did not. Don’t just criticize. Make sure you can offer him tangible suggestions that he can apply in his next speech.

10. Stop to help. When you see that a speaker is struggling (it could be your colleague or friend), volunteer to review their speech. Offer to share with them speaking tips that work for you. Encourage them. Oh and do recommend them to read The Public Speaking Blog too! *grins* (Thank you!)

11. Share resources. When you come across insightful articles or books relating to public speaking, make an effort to share them with your friends. Be generous. It pays.

12. Even go to the extent of teaching them! This is based on personal experience. When you teach someone a particular skill, you are also helping yourself re-learn. And I have found this extremely helpful in strengthening my abilities. If you want to bring this further, set up a mastermind group. Find a group of people who are also committed to become better speakers. Set up a time to meet up. During the session, exchange ideas, evaluate one another’s speeches and help one another improve. If need be, kick one another so that everyone grows eventually.

13. Go to Toastmasters meetings together. It takes a lot of discipline and courage to attend a Toastmasters meeting, especially if it is after work. And you would rather chill at your couch with your chips and nachos. What helps is to get more friends to join you. Treat it like a gathering where you get to support each other’s growth. It’s also very fun when it becomes a group outing and not just a “meeting”.

How about you - what will be your list?

Cheers,
Eric Feng
Your Public Speaking Coach

P.S. Help spread this blog entry! Send the link to your friends. Add to the list in your blog. And even better, put some of the ways into practice. Won’t be it fun when some fellow speaker offer to help you after reading this list?

P.P.S. If you love lists, you will love this one –> 250 Things You Wish You Know That Will Guarantee Your Speaking Success (created quite a storm on Digg.com)

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