13 Ways To Help A Fellow Speaker Today (And I Need YOUR Help!)
I was casually browsing through some blogs when I stumbled upon a new article titled “25 Ways To Help A Fellow Human Being Today” at Zen Habits. And then a couple of hours later at a coaching program, “compassion” became the word of the day. I took that as a hint to write an article revolving around compassion. And riding on the theme of this blog, I am going to share with you my list of 13 ways you can help a fellow speaker today. (Please add on to my list so we can hit 25!)
If you are the audience…
1. Be generous with your smiles! The shortest distance between the speaker and the audience is A SMILE. So be generous with your smiles. It really means a lot to the speaker when you show him and her such appreciation. A smile usually begets a smile, so you end up becoming happier as well.
2. Compliment the speaker. If you have benefited from the speech, don’t be afraid to let the speaker know. Tell him what you like about his speech, what you have learnt and how you will apply his message/tips into your life. To a speaker, this is very, very flattering.
3. Lend your ears to the speaker. When the speaker talks, pay full attention to him. Don’t get distracted by the people around you. Don’t get distracted with the internal conversations running in your head. When you are in the audience, sit up, inch forward and really listen to the speaker. Make him feel like he is the only person that matters to you at that moment. I gurantee you that the quality of the speech will also increase because the speaker gets that you care!
4. Clap like you really mean it. Very often, the audience clap on cue (before the speaker come on stage and after the speaker leaves the stage) And trust me, we can feel the insincerity. And it hurts big time especially if we have put in a lot of effort in the presentation. So the next time you clap for the speaker, clap like you mean it. Clap as a way of giving thanks. Clap as a way of showing the speaker that you appreciate his time. Clap as a way of supporting a fellow human being. It takes courage to be on stage!
5. Drop the speaker a nice email. Ask him a question. Clarify a point that he made during his presentation. Share with him what you have learnt out of listening to him. These are all acts of love to the speaker because you are telling him that it has been worth his time delivering the presentation. And guess what, 9 out of 10 people don’t do that… so when you do it, it is going to make you stand out! And don’t be surprised if the speaker gives you EXTRA tips or tactics. One time, I did this and the speaker was so touched that he brought me out for lunch and gave me one hour to ask him anything I want about the topic!
6. Be patient. There are times when the speaker is not at his best. Instead of ignoring him or putting him down, be patient. Put yourself in his shoe. It’s not easy to be speaking in front of so many people. So give him a second chance. Encourage him by nodding, smiling or even participanting in this speech.
7. Wish the speaker good luck. If you are reading this, I am sure you know how nerve wrecking it is to wait for your turn to speak. And sometimes just giving the speaker a hug, a handshake or a hello will make a huge difference. If you have not tried that before, go on and do that. You will make his day!
If you are the speaker…
8. Offer to listen to their presentation beforehand. Rehearsals are important and it helps when a speaker has a group of real audience to test his speech on. And as you are listening to his presentation, be sure to do #9 as well.
9. Give constructive feedback. I notice that sometimes people are too nice for their own good. When I ask them how I did, they will usually give me very surface-level advice like “I think you did a good job.” or “That was a very interesting speech - well done Eric!”. It’s true that people seek validation more than education but if you really want to help the speaker grow, I suggest you be open with your feedback. Share with the speaker what work and what did not. Don’t just criticize. Make sure you can offer him tangible suggestions that he can apply in his next speech.
10. Stop to help. When you see that a speaker is struggling (it could be your colleague or friend), volunteer to review their speech. Offer to share with them speaking tips that work for you. Encourage them. Oh and do recommend them to read The Public Speaking Blog too! *grins* (Thank you!)
11. Share resources. When you come across insightful articles or books relating to public speaking, make an effort to share them with your friends. Be generous. It pays.
12. Even go to the extent of teaching them! This is based on personal experience. When you teach someone a particular skill, you are also helping yourself re-learn. And I have found this extremely helpful in strengthening my abilities. If you want to bring this further, set up a mastermind group. Find a group of people who are also committed to become better speakers. Set up a time to meet up. During the session, exchange ideas, evaluate one another’s speeches and help one another improve. If need be, kick one another so that everyone grows eventually.
13. Go to Toastmasters meetings together. It takes a lot of discipline and courage to attend a Toastmasters meeting, especially if it is after work. And you would rather chill at your couch with your chips and nachos. What helps is to get more friends to join you. Treat it like a gathering where you get to support each other’s growth. It’s also very fun when it becomes a group outing and not just a “meeting”.
How about you - what will be your list?
Cheers,
Eric Feng
Your Public Speaking Coach
P.S. Help spread this blog entry! Send the link to your friends. Add to the list in your blog. And even better, put some of the ways into practice. Won’t be it fun when some fellow speaker offer to help you after reading this list?
P.P.S. If you love lists, you will love this one –> 250 Things You Wish You Know That Will Guarantee Your Speaking Success (created quite a storm on Digg.com)
14. Ask Questions. If a Q&A session is included with the speech, ask a question… especially if nobody else is. Articulate clearly so that the speaker can hear and understand you.
15. Offer Your Expertise. Suppose someone else asks a question that the speaker can’t answer, but you can! Offer your expertise so that everyone benefits. Don’t phrase it in a way to upstage the speaker; rather, phrase it to suggest that you are complementing what they have already offered.
Excellent post. I especially liked the follow-up email. That’s something I rarely do, and it’s a
great idea. I also love Andrew’s angle on Ask A Question. It would add an excellent touch to an evaluation to ask a question if the speech had involved a Q&A. Nice.
I put up a related post today. Here are the bullet points on the seven thoughts I shared on
my blog.
- Have good intentions.
- To flinch is normal.
- Remember the level of the speaker.
- You were them.
- Suggest one doable thing.
- Keep your sense of humor.
- It’s only an opinion.
And Congratulations on your superb performance at your Toastmasters District Speech Contest yesterday!
etktviib…
etktviib…
Thanks Andrew and John for the comments! I have one more - BE WILLING TO SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS (as an audience). Last weekend at the District contest, I shared how I nearly lost my mum to a disease. And near to the end, I told them that my mum thankfully survived the ordeal and guess what, the audience clapped! And they cheered! And that went on for a few seconds. If not for need to end on time, I would have let them continue…
It really means a lot to the speaker when the audience show such response and empathy!
Hey! Just attended your interview workshop today at VJC =) found it really fantastic and inspiring. you’re great at what you’re doing! really admire you haha =)
hey chun han, thanks for your compliment man. i really appreciate it! a tip for you: follow your heart and do what energizes you! do stay in touch and i am looking fwd to your questions. cheers~
your public speaking talk in my school[MI] is useful and interesting! learned alot that day. i think its very inspiring and i admire how successful you are at such a young age.
Hey student
Thanks for dropping in and for being so sweet! one of the things i have learnt from very successful people is the willingness to ask. so if you have any questions relating to public speaking or life, please feel free to ask ok. I may not be able to reply to you instantly but it will come. Meanwhile enjoy your holz!
16. Point our Your Prior Failings - this is really an extension of compliment the speaker. I’ve found that as an Advanced Speaker when I compliment a speaker who is still working through the Toastmasters CC manual on a specific point, I point out my own prior failings.
Specifically I will say that what they achieved in their speech I did not achieve when I did the same speech module. Obviously, I only say this if it is true, I never lie about it.
But for me to say that as someone who is Advanced, I’ve noticed that it really encourages those who are still coming up the ranks. They seem to really appreciate my honesty with them.
That’s an excellent pointer Jason! Sharing your past mistakes and experience makes learning so much more personal and real. I will definitely keep that in mind. And I hope YOU (the reader) will do the same.
17. Tell someone other than the speaker specifically what you liked about the speech or delivery. This works on a few levels. It has been said that the greatest compliment we shall never hear, because it will be a compliment shared with someone else, rather than flattery to our ears.
So if it gets back, it will mean more. Also it helps others learn what qualities of speaking to try to emulate.
OK, one more….
18. Include something they said in the speech within your conversation. Especially do so if your a speaker following them.
By referencing the speech it validates what was said. It also shows honor to the person who shared the information.
Further it demonstrates that you were paying attention and recognized the information as valuable.
Last one…
19. Always look for the good in a speaker.
When ever we put anyone down for any reason, we are in effect elevating our own moral excellence. If someone has a complaining spirit for what ever reason, no matter how challenging it may be, find an honest and sincere area that can be pointed to as commendation.
One day on hearing a speaker that was not as good as expected, I made a comment. It was to a dear friend. Then it was shared with me the tragedy that the speaker had recently endured. He felt it more important to give the talk than to cancel. I need not say how small I felt.
We can never know why something might not be as good as it could.
Speaking of good, these are all good suggestions.
You know Eric, I think there are a few more than 25. The seeds of additional ways to help are germinating while writing this. Perhaps others could think of the things that really helped them through the years.
Hey Jonathan, thanks for being so generous with your shares. Looks like I can do a compilation really soon with all the ideas being generated. You are right - we should always look for the good in the speaker. Your story is most supportive of this point. And here’s an extension. After looking for the good, be sure to let the speaker know. Don’t just say he is good. Explain how he was good or why was that particular act a good thing. This will help the speaker much more.
I am posting this in hopes that one of you out there might be able to help this fellow speaker!!! My name is John Spence and I have been a professional corporate trainer / speaker for 14 years. For the past 5 years I have averaged more than 200 days a year on the road worldwide. I typically do about 90 presentations a year - and my normal daily rate is $10,000. My clients include Microsoft, IBM, Merrill Lynch, GE, AT&T, Qualcomm, Verizon, Pepsi…. In addition to a robust speaking, consulting and executive coaching schedule — I also own an advertising firm. I have self-published a book and sold 20,000 copies of it over the past 5 years. It has just now been picked up by a publisher (Morgan James).
Although I have had great success with my speaking and training work — and am already booking dates more than a year out — I do not have a lot of experience selling product over the internet. I have the book — several new workbooks - and a great DVD on business strategy that is extremely well produced. Recently I have had “speaking consultants/coaches” coming out of the woodwork. They all promise that they can take my business to the “next level” — yet most of them have no real experience in actually building a highly successful internet business. I do NOT do back of the room sales — as nearly all of my engagements are high-level corporate events and they very often just buy a copy of my book for all the attendees. In addition — my goal here is passive income. I love what I do — but I do not want to continue to spend 220 days a year on the road for the next 15 years (although right now about 40 of those days are vacation — but I’d like to bump that number up to 80 or 90 days). So I am looking for someone who has successfully sold a minimum of $1,000,000 worth of products — books, work books, audio CDs, DVDs — on the internet. I need a professional peer who has solid experience and can give me and my team specific, focused and market-tested advice and guidance based on first-hand knowledge.
I will also say that I do have some interest in increasing my international work. I have already traveled to Japan, China, Hong Kong, Italy, France, Germany, New Zealand, Mexico and Austria to give talks — but recently got married and would love to have my wife come with me on some more international trips. So finding someone with strong international experience that can help me find more of those assignments would be of value too.
I won’t go on any more in this note — you see where I am heading. Please take a moment to look at my web site — and I welcome any ideas, referrals, suggestions you might have to offer. I have an extremely bright team and I am sure we could figure all of this out on our own through trial and error – but it is just so much easier and smarter to find someone who has already conquered this arena and ask them for help!
Thanks so much for any help you can offer – John
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