8 Speaking “Secrets” Revealed: Part 6
INSIDE-OUT
The sixth secret I want to share with you is both the easiest and hardest to implement. Easiest because you do not have to do any work. Hardest because it works in the subtle. In Fred Gratzon’ book The Lazy Way to Success, he describes human’s subtlest layer as consciousness, the basis of all human experience and expression. It is also at this level, where we can harness great power. Without going into the abstract, I shall explain how you can harness such power to become a phenomenal speaker!
The premise of this entry lies here - “Who You Are Speaks Louder than What You Can Say”
To get started, I want you to ask yourself this question: When you get up to speak, who are you being?
A rockstar that everyone is dying to listen to or a screw-up that everyone jeers at? A charismatic leader with an important message or a nobody trying to be a charismatic leader with an important message? A passionate speaker with something valuable to share or an apprehensive speaker who can’t wait to get off the stage?
When you are up on stage, are you speaking in the position of clarity and power or in fear and trepidation? What’s your background conversation? If it is “Shit, I am going to screw up…” then yes, you WILL screw up. However, if it is “I’ve got something important to say so listen carefully”, then every part of you will command the listening of your audience.
Whether you like it or not, your thoughts manifest your actions. It works inside-out. If you get the beingness (or essence) right, the doing (what you actually have to do to achieve the desired outcome) will follow. Otherwise, no amount of doing will make a difference. Let me share with you a personal experience.
My first experience of pubic speaking started when I was in high school. I took part in a Science Speech Contest and won First Place. Ironically, it was my quick success that led me to avoid public speaking for a good five years. As the champion speaker, I was invited to speak in front of the entire school, which was approximately 1600 students!!! That was a HUUUUUGGGGEEEEEE crowd compared to 40 people - who happened to my friends too - during the contest itself. As you have guessed it, I flopped big time. I forgot almost my entire speech, together with my name. I stuttered through whatever lines that I could remember, which ended up incohesive most of the time. The audience was left in amazement at how I act ually won the contest. For the next few years, I never quite succeed in public speaking, no matter how much work I put in. I later realized that I have been speaking in the shadows of my failure. Each time I speak, I was speaking in the shoes of the high school “me” who screwed up big time. As you can imagine, I never quite got over it.
My realization later become a moment of liberation for me as I consciously recreated a new being to take on. Instead of being the high school “me”, I took on being Wayaki, a charismatic leader in my literature text - The River Between. Every speech I gave become a manifestation of Wayaki. It was then I started to see improvements in my speeches.
The main point of this entry is this: WHO YOU ARE SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WHAT YOU SAY!!!
The next time you give a speech, I want you to try this for size. You got to have vivid imagination for this exercise to work. And it comes with practice so keep trying!
First, pick a speaker. He or she could be someone whom you respect or admire a lot. Visualize everything about the speaker in your head. The looks. The expressions. The body gestures. The voice. The words. The energy. Everything. And then picture yourself becoming that speaker as you give your speech. You can also play around by combining traits of various speakers. As you gain more experience speaking, you will find yourself creating your own speaking style. And when that happens, EMBRACE IT!
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I just discovered your blog and I absolutely love most of what you say. Thank you for writing so beautifully about public speaking and making it accessible for everyone.
But I don’t agree with your advise to find a speaker you like and take on their characteristics and style. Even body gestures. Trying to become someone you’re not by taking on their traits, even if they are traits you admire, will just reinforce the belief that who you are isn’t going to cut the mustard. It prevents us from feeling the freedom of finding our own style, our own way.
And it can even create more fear and pressure.
Now, I can see this really worked for you. But I don’t think it was because you took on someone else’s traits, in this case Wayaki, as it was that you focused your attention on those particular traits that already existed within yourself.
Maybe it’s a fine line, but an important one when you are advising people who already feel inadequate and scared when it comes to public speaking.
Hi Nancy, thank you for your comments! I do agree with you that it is important for individuals to find their own style of speaking. Trying to “copy” someone’s style, body gestures and even voice will usually result in an unnatural performance.
Here’s to clarify what I said in the entry. Visualizing a good speaker does not necessarily mean taking on his or her characteristics and style. I believe it is something more generic and yet powerful. In the case of Wayaki, when I “took on” being Wayaki, I was in fact taking on the courage and charisma that he exudes. Since every individual will have a different interpretation and representation of courage and charisma, this becomes a great platform for individuals to find their own style. But then again, this may work well for only some people. I am very sure there are many other approaches.
On a sidenote, it would be great if you could share with me and the readers how we can find our own speaking style! Hear from you soon.
Your clarification is helpful, Eric. I think what you are saying is similar to my previous comment, that by visualizing or taking on the traits of Wayaki, you connected to your feelings of courage and charisma. That’s why it was so helpful for you.
I just get a little itchy under my skin when experts such as yourself tell people to “take on” the traits of another speaker. I understand now that’s not what you were saying.
And yes, I’d be overjoyed to share with your readers some processes to uncovering and celebrating your own speaking style. If there is a certain post or place on your blog where it would be appropriate for me to do so, show me the way!
Once again, I want to tell you how much I appreciate what you have created with this blog. I love your writing style, and you are so generous with all you know.
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Thank you for this fantastic secrets that will absolutlly change the way many people’s perspectives about public speaking.I just wanna disagree with nancy when she said : we shouldn’t take on some the characterestics of our favorited speakers.I would say that if you really admire someone who deserves to be an ideal for you,then you will find yourself sublimnaly soing the same things,postures,gestures and so on.I believe that there is no harm at all in doing such bihaviour.
thank you once again.