How Do You Be Yourself? (+ My Latest Fan)
It’s almost impossible to be yourself in front of 200 faceless people when you are a nervous wreck. Yet we get this advice a lot, don’t we? If I recall, I did rant about it in a spoof video here.
However recently, I decided to give this advice a 2nd chance. It happened during my judging at one of the college’s speech competition. The winner wasn’t exactly eloquent or funny. He hasn’t gone through any formal speech training yet he stood out among the rest of his contestants. I suspect it was because of his PERSONALITY. He was real and imperfect which makes it easy for his audience to relate to.
In one of the random blog posts I read (sorry if I can’t remember who), the author make a point aptly. If you want to become a memorable speaker, you got to…
Show your personality - It doesn’t matter if you are presenting to a corporate crowd or to senior citizens, you need to show some character when presenting. Talk to your audience, not at them - People hate it when they get talked at, so don’t do it. You need to interact with your audience and create a conversation. An easy way to do this is to ask them questions as well as letting them ask you questions.
Great point! However, for your personality to shine, you have to be yourself. Yes, I have said it.
Question is how?
Simple, by focusing on your audience and their interests.
Unfortunately most people are caught up looking good in front of the audience. They are more concerned about how the audience think about them. They are more concerned about how they look in front of their audience. They are more concerned about whether the audience like them. As such they panic under the “judgemental” eyes of their audience. And the more they try to look good, the more they panic. Hardly the kind of personality you want to protray right?
The mechanics to being yourself is simple.
Stop having the impulsive need to look good or be perfect in front of your audience.
That doesn’t mean that you stop preparing or mocking for your presentation. Instead, what I mean is that when the show begins, you focus on your audience rather than panicking if you will do a good job (that should have been handled before your speech!)
When you stop focusing on yourself, your attention naturally shifts to the audience. You become more concerned about whether they get your message. You become concerned about whether they will apply what you have taught them. It becomes all about them. And in that moment, you become yourself.
I know, it sounds very zen-like.
How about trying it for size? This way, you know for sure if it is true.
It was true for me. It was true for the winner. It can be true for you too!
Cheers,
Eric Feng
Your Public Speaking Coach
Check out my latest fan! (She’s the daughter of my friend Peter Gilliland whom I met at BNI)
Isn’t she sweet?
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