Why Phua Chu Kang should divorce his wife?
By sheer coincidence, I bumped into my English tutor at the NUS arts canteen a couple of weeks ago. And her first words to me were “Interested to join a speech contest?” Being ignorant and all, I thought she was referring to the Toastmasters International Speech Contest. I later found out - to my embarassment - that it was something else. The contest is first of its kind in Singapore, titled Word of Mouth: Speak your Mind” with a prize money of $10K! As PCK would have said it: Don’t pray pray ah!!
I decided to give it a shot and went down on Sunday to compete. And guess what, I got through the first round out of three! Yea! Needless to say, I was ectastic. Bumped into a couple more Toastmasters there too. Haha. What’s new? Organize a speech contest and you will attract Toastmasters from all over the city, like moth to the flame. As you may have guessed it by now, I was given this topic (as titled) to prepare - Why should Phua Chu Kang divorce his wife? It was absolutely crazy!! Firstly, I don’t watch PCK. Secondly… ok there is no secondly. But the first warrants all my fear and apprehension. Yet luck has it that Sunday Times featured PCK and I happened to have it in my bag! What are the odds? I later found out to my relief that his wife is Rosie Phua. (grins)
After an hour of mind-wrestling at Union Square, here’s the output. Enjoy!
(applause)
You guys are just clapping coz I am the last contestant… you can’t wait to go home right? (laughter)
On my 21st birthday, my dad gave me an advice. “Son, when you get married, that’s the end of your life.” (laughter) And these eight words are good enough to motivate anyone NOT to get married. I suspect that PCK (finally) realize that and decided that he wants a life.
Here’s the second reason. They (referring to PCK and Rosie) have NOTHING in common. One is a skinny bamboo stick. The other is a gigantic rainforest tree, for the lack of a better word. One has a big fat mole and the other… is just big and fat. (laughter) One has a pair of ugly yellow boots and the other… has ugly pair of boobs. (laughter from men only) And they are too big for comfort! (more laughter)
Which leads me to the third reason. My dad once said “Every divorce means a new opportunity…” (laughter) If PCK divorces Rosie, it means that Cindy Crawfurd has a chance! She is skinny, pretty and has a mole too! (laughter) Think about it!! PCK can now ensure that his iconic mole get passed down from generation to the other. Now that’s a good thing.
The fourth reason is for all of you (signalling to the audience). We love tragedy. I am serious. The reason why we laugh at PCK so much is not becoz he is funny. It is becoz’ he has an ugly mole, a fat wife and a pair of yellow boots. (laughter) When we look at ourselves in the mirror or turn to our wives, we feel so much better about ourselves. The truth is we are laughing BECAUSE we are relieved… Imagine having PCK divorce his wife. Gosh, that is gonna create so much more laughter from you sick people! (laughter)
Lastly, the producers cannot be happier. Not sure if you know this but they are ending PCK at season 8 becoz they have no more funny jokes to crack. Let’s say they decided to get PCK to divorce his wife, they will have another season to shoot - more money to make… and that also means we have more reasons to laugh.
Imagine in the final episode of PCK, when we all think that the happy ending is coming, the camera zooms into PCK and his wife… and then PCK looks her in the eyes and go “Rosie, you are fired!” (Donald Trump style) (laughter)
My friends, who says PCK has to end at Season 8??? (laughter)
(applause)
Now that was fun! Wish me luck on the next round people.
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Any burning questions to ask? Send them to eric@ericfeng.com and I will get back to you asap. Meanwhile, enjoy the articles at Public Speaking for All!
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Andrerw…
I was thinking the same thing…